Ever had one of those moments where your whole family is in the same room… but no one’s actually there? Maybe one person is watching TikToks, another is deep into a Netflix binge, and someone else is checking emails (or doomscrolling the news). You’re together… but also totally alone.
Welcome to the “together alone” phenomenon—where technology keeps us connected to the world but weirdly disconnected from the people right in front of us.
We all know that screens are a part of life (and I’m certainly not here to tell you to live off the grid). But when tech starts taking over family time, it might be time for a reset.
Why Screens Can Create Distance
Technology is amazing—it helps us work, learn, and stay in touch with loved ones. But too much screen time can leave families feeling:
•More distant – Less face-to-face time means fewer deep conversations.
•More distracted – It’s hard to be fully present when notifications are constantly buzzing.
•More irritable – Ever tried talking to someone who’s glued to their phone? Frustrating, right?
•More isolated – Even in a room full of people, we can feel alone when everyone is focused on their own screens.
But don’t worry—you don’t have to toss your phone out to reconnect with your family. A few simple shifts can help bring back those real-life moments.
How to Reconnect (Without Going Full-On Anti-Tech)
1. Declare “No-Screen Zones”
Pick a few spots in the house where screens are off-limits—like the dinner table or bedrooms. That way, mealtimes and wind-down time become about actual conversations instead of mindless scrolling.
2. Create a Family Tech Plan
Instead of setting random rules that can be difficult to follow, sit down as a family and make a plan together. Maybe it includes:
•No phones at the table.
•No screens during family outings.
•A set time when everyone unplugs for the night (yes, parents too!).
3. Make Screen Time Social
Instead of everyone disappearing into their own digital world, try making screen time something you do together:
•Watch a movie as a family and chat about it after.
•Play video games with your kids (yes, even if they crush you).
•Share funny videos or memes as a way to connect.
4. Prioritize Tech-Free Fun
Find ways to spend time together without screens:
•Go for a walk or bike ride.
•Play board games (bonus points if you get competitive).
•Cook a meal together—yes, TikTok recipes count!
5. Set the Example
Let’s be real—if parents are glued to their phones, kids will be too. Show them what healthy screen use looks like by setting your own boundaries (like not checking work emails during family time).
6. Keep the Conversation Open
Instead of enforcing strict “because I said so” rules, talk about why screen limits matter. Help kids and teens understand that tech is great, but so is real-life connection.
It’s All About Balance
Technology isn’t the enemy—it’s all about how we use it. By setting small, intentional boundaries, families can go from “together alone” to actually together.
Need a little extra support in navigating family dynamics (tech-related or otherwise)? Birdie Counselling is here to help.
Let’s bring back real connection—one unplugged moment at a time.
— Ellen Bird MSW, RSW
www.birdiecounselling.com
