When I think about challenging times in my life, it reminds me of this photo. You can argue that either side is up, depending on how you look at it. Is the bottom the sky and the top the water or vice versa? That’s how it can feel in the spiral initiated by a life altering experience.
As human beings, we are faced daily with incidences and experiences that require us to confront who we are and how we show up in the world. When change, uncertainty, transitions, psychedelic journey, tragedy, trauma and death show up, it can completely pull the rug out from beneath us and change the very path and fabric of our current lives. These experiences can be dysregulating, crushing, confusing and leave us feeling heavy, trapped, immobilized, scared and alone. It feels like we have no choice on how to move forward and like our only option is to give up.
In this dark and unsure place, we have lost our engagement with being alive.
To be fully engaged with life, a person needs meaning, purpose, connection, creativity and passion. When challenges, heartbreak and life altering experiences arrive, so do unwelcome opportunities to re-emerge, recommit and seek meaning and purpose from a place where it has all been stripped away. No one wants to arrive in this place and yet it is part of life. When life crumbles and no longer makes sense, we have reached a pivotal point in our story where we can succumb and give up (this is a place we can sit for a long time) or we can choose to make something out of the nothingness. To acknowledge ego-death, to leave behind parts of self that no longer serve or no longer fit, to search for spirituality (could be the breath of the wind, the universe, the essence of self, whatever fits for you) to find your new unclaimed place in the world.
In this vulnerable, dark space of suffering, finding someone to walk beside you and help you to integrate, navigate and make sense of your journey is necessary. Someone to hold space while you explore what it means to be you in the moment you are in, to help you gain clarity on your path and become aware of what you want.
Without Suffering, There is No Joy.
Life is full of suffering and joy, neither makes sense without the other. We often suffer alone. but we don’t have to. I am called to walk beside people as they navigate through the darkness of their suffering and help them create a life full of meaning, purpose, possibility and awe. It is challenging work to re-emerge from a life altering experience and to see it as an (unwelcomed) opportunity for growth, learning and change, and I’m here to walk with you down that path
In my own life, I have met many of these moments and been unsure where to go or how to get out of them. I admit, I sat immobilized in suffering for a long time feeling lost, confused and like I was being beaten down by wave after wave. I have sat with my friends, colleagues and professionals who provided connection, perspective and new opportunities for creativity, spirituality and engagement with the same problems.
On this journey, I have learned many ways to confront suffering. These are my favorites:
Explore alternative perspectives. Even if you choose not to embark on the path of any. Options make you feel less stuck!
Be in the moment. I connect to my breath and often to nature. When I am spiraling, I remind myself to be FULLY PRESENT by feeling my feelings and where they are in my body. When you are fully present, the storying of the future stops and ruminating on the past has no place. Grounding in the moment can be a powerful and welcomed experience.
Expect it. Suffering is a part of life. I try to acknowledge it, give it space and find ways to connect with myself and my feelings. For me, I write or read a poem, take a photo, go for a walk, talk to the birds, hug someone, make something, sit in ceremony, work with and call upon my ancestors, practice being intentional, explore and challenge the notion to give up and ask to be held in the darkness by myself or by others.
I'm here to help you navigate suffering and challenging times. Let’s walk the path together until you are confident on the path alone.
Knowledge is power.
By exploring different perspectives and different ways of engaging with yourself and others, you can unlock what you need to help you navigate suffering and challenging times.
Stephanie Viccars-Zaragoza- Registered Provisional Psychologist
Walking the Path Counselling
